We’ve all been there – there’s just someone at work you don’t like. It may not be for any particular reason, just a clash of personalities, but it may be something more. Maybe this person tries to undermine you in front of others or tries to pass off their work to you. Whatever the reason, there’s always going to be people we don’t get on with.

Workplace conflicts can have serious consequences if not handled correctly. If the situation isn’t addressed, it could lead to one or both of you blowing up and saying things you don’t mean. This kind of behaviour will most likely end up in disciplinary action in most firms. Conflicts can also affect your motivation and concentration – if you’re distracted by the things going on around you, you may make mistakes or miss a deadline, and this could lead to performance management issues.

Conflict can come from a variety of situations – between employees, among entire teams, or even between you and your boss. So, if there’s always someone we’re not going to get on with, how can we manage those situations before they get to the point of a blow out or affecting our motivation?

Acknowledge the conflict exists

There’s no point burying your head in the sand and pretending everything is okay when a problem arises. Most people hate confrontation but hoping everything will work out isn’t the way to go. If you try and ignore it, the tension only builds, and could spill over into the wider team or the teams interaction with others across the business. You need to find a way to work out what this issue is and resolve it.

Talk about the issue

This doesn’t mean one person gets to moan about the other. You need to meet somewhere where you won’t get interrupted and can talk freely. Each person needs to speak about the situation, and have adequate time to express themselves. This isn’t an opportunity for blame or a character assassination, but time to focus on the issue without getting personal. Calling someone names because you don’t like the way they managed a meeting won’t win you any sympathy and makes you look immature. It might be worth having someone sit in on the conversation as a mediator – but they must be neutral. Their role would be to make sure everyone gets their turn to speak and to make sure that things don’t get out of control.

Listen to the other person

It’s important that you listen to the other person when it’s their chance to speak. Do not interrupt them, let them speak freely. Make sure you understand what it is they are telling you – you can do this by repeating things back to them in your own words to show you have understood their issue. Ask for clarification if you need it – this is your chance to correct whatever the issue is and if you’re not clear about something, it could lead to more issues. Listening should always be about getting an understanding of the situation. Don’t react to the other person’s words – if you remain calm and collected, it’s much more likely they will too.

Find your agreement

Once you have both understood the issue by speaking clearly and unemotionally, listened without interrupting, you need to find the solution to the problem. You need to find a resolution you both agree on and can abide by. For example, if your disagreement is around how a process is being carried out, you need to agree how this will work moving forward and how it will be communicated to the others on the team. You need to walk away with some positives from the discussion, not more negatives. Sometimes, it may be that you don’t agree on a sales tactic but admire your colleague for their efforts – we don’t have to agree on everything, but you can acknowledge the hard work and dedication of your co-worker. Seek out the common ground and agree on the next steps.

Forgive

Once you have your agreement, you need to move on. Forgiving the other person for the hurtful words or actions will help you both to move on and hopefully move past the conflict. If you can’t forgive each other, it’s likely those hurt feelings will fester and the grudge you hold will just deepen. The work you’ve put in so far to get to this point will be wasted effort.

Conflict resolution is not always clear cut. It will depend on both of your attitudes to the situation in order to find that resolution and move past whatever the issue is. But you need to ask yourself if it’s worth it? When you think about the possible outcomes of leaving these issues to fester, it’s always best to tackle issues head on and clear the air. It makes for a better working environment for everyone around you, including yourself.

So, what’s this got to do with The Wage Shop?

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